Are you Stressing about Re-lactation?

On my many hours reading websites, forums and personal blogs that other women have written about their experiences, feelings and hopes on ANR, the subject of lactation (or re-lactation) has come up so often that I feel I need to throw my thoughts into the ring. Let's be clear - we're all different and we all have very different expectations of ANR, so whatever I say, I don't mean to offend anyone, nor am I passing judgements or criticisms.

Re-lactation is a complicated subject, and I am definitely not an expert. All I can say is that re-lactation involves psychological, emotional and physiological issues, and that gets all very complicated.

Like everything in life, some things come easy to some women, and others struggle for years. Whether its finding a partner, having a baby or getting a job, it just feels like some women have it all and others never seem to get it right. And so it is with lactation and re-lactation. Some of us will have milky breasts right from go, and others will take a concotion of hormones and medicines, will pump and massage regularly only to be disappointed over and over.

What I'd like to say to all women out there, and to their partners, is to remember that ANR is a journey of a lifetime, to be enjoyed and cherished. I believe the whole goal of ANR is to bring a husband and wife (or partner) even closer, both physically and emotionally, to build a bridge of intimacy that the stresses of everyday life cannot destroy. The nature of adult breastfeeding, the act of holding your husband to your bare breast, of feeding him your nipple, of submitting yourself to his desires and to your desires - each day, every day, sometimes three times or four times a day - is the journey. Whether your breasts produce milk right away or whether it takes weeks, months or even years for the first drops to flow is irrelevant. It's not the milk that bonds, but the act of nursing. And to those who are struggling to produce milk, all I can say is don't start filling your body with medicines, hormones - take care of your health and your body, eat well, drink lots, exercise often; but also take care of your mind - don't stress, don't panic, just relax - and enjoy.

Here's a quote that speaks to me - I hope it brings all women who are in an ANR some peace.

Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it. 

Sex after nursing session

With all the stresses of maintaining a regular schedule, we've decided to go casual about our nursing times and do it when we can, for however long we can - and it's been the best decision ever. It feels like those first few day and months of a new relationship, where you sneak bits of time to be together, and each second stolen is full of thrills. And so when we managed to steal a bit of time before bed for a bit of cuddling and suckling, we were both ready for a lot more!

Breastfeeding my husband has changed us so much - it's made us calmer, happier people - but it's also changed our relationship, making us closer, more intimate and more in tune with each other's needs. Last night was one of those nights where it all came together - we snuck into bed, with the blanket warmer on, cuddling and squirming around to get comfortable. My husband got into his place, just a head lower than where I am, to indicate he wanted to nurse; so I propped myself up on a couple of pillows and gave him my left breast. He hungrily took it into his mouth and suckled. It's such a calming time, when he gets into a rhythm, and I close my eyes and feel him slightly tugging at my nipple, his hands clasped around my breast. After some time, I reached over and gave him the other breast, which means that I have to lie on my back and he'll feed from the side. After feeding on my right breast for some time, he reached down and started to caress me and was delighted to find I was so ready for him. I am not sure what it is about nursing my husband that makes me so ready for sex afterwards - but I suspect it's a combination of being completely relaxed and at peace, having your nipples aroused and suckled for a long time, and of course, knowing the pleasure your husband is getting from your body. Most times, a breastfeeding session doesn't end in sex especially if you've got limited time in the mornings or are having a middle of the night session and we both just fall asleep. But when it does, it is truly explosive.

Finding Kindred Spirits from near and far

It's hard to be an individual in our world where we are faced daily with hairstyle trends, clothing trends, what to eat and what not to wear, the hottest spots to travel and the most popular cars to drive - how easy it is to lose ourselves, our identity, and our individuality in this constant onslaught to fit in, to belong, to avoid being that outcast who is different. And how much harder is it for those of us who search for our soul-mates when our pleasures are derived from actions that are sometimes frowned upon?

The Experience Project is a delightful website I stumbled upon one rainy dark day when I was searching for more information and personal stories of couples who were in an adult nursing relationship. Wikipedia, forever resourceful, had information under the headings of Erotic Lactation, Adult Nursing Relationships, Adult Breastfeeding Relationships, etc., but it was the personal stories I was searching for and this was the website that opened so many hidden doors.

The Experience Project is a place where everyone can share their stories, experiences and feelings about their personal journey. It's a community. Free and easy to register, its a place where you can just sit quietly and read and absorb, or as you grow more confident, you can share/post and comment. Some people are there to meet others, but the most intriguing posts are about the incredible reactions wives have had when they've talked about nursing their husbands, and equally, the relief and excitement from husbands when their ultimate desires are met while they suckle on their wife's breast.

Here's a link to the group where people are searching for like-minded individuals from all around the world.

The Experience Project - Adult Nursing Relationships

I encourage you to join, read and share. Make friends and new connections. And never doubt yourself for feeling that surge of excitement when you imagine suckling from your wife, or nursing your husband.

Choosing a Nursing Bra

I had been thinking about getting a nursing bra ever since my husband and I started on our breastfeeding journey. It wasn't that I really needed one - I wasn't going to need to feed him in a public place, and I wasn't going to need easy access to my breasts for a quick feed either. On the contrary, we're usually in our bed, warm and snug, when he cuddles up and reaches for my nipple. But the thought of wearing a nursing bra intrigued me - and it excited me.

I loved to dream and imagine how the next nursing session will be and I wanted something to always remind me of who I was - a nursing wife to her husband. I wanted something close to me that nobody else could see, a little secret that I held close, that was there but not there. And when the idea of a nursing bra came to mind, I became almost desperate to have one. I imagined wearing it during my normal day, something that was functional yet full of delight. I imagined my husband un-clipping it, softly letting my breast fall out, and catching the nipple with his lips.

And so I started my search! I didn't want to go to a store to buy one, although the thought made me feel quite naughty as well... but I started my search online. I found lots on Amazon and through other online department stores. For those who are thinking of getting one, or who now think they'd want one after reading my post (!!),  I recommend Amazon. There's lots of choice in colours and sizes and fabrics. There are two main designs - both have clips on the shoulders but the one I chose frames the breast and gives more support to those of us who wear a DD cup! This is the one I bought - in black - and I love it. I often wear it during the day under a loose jumper and I can feel my nipples press against the soft fabric. At night, I wear it to bed and watch my husbands eyes light up as he reaches for the clip and waits for his feeding.

It's a simple article of clothing. It's not sexy like lingerie. But to us, it's the sexiest piece of underwear I'll ever own.

Hanna Seamless Drop Cup
Unpadded Nursing Bra
Available in White or Black
Amazon.co.uk
£19.99

Fallen off the breast wagon again!

Here I am again, after another break from writing and nursing... it's so difficult to incorporate something like adult nursing into your day when your day is busy and full with a million things to do! A regular schedule seems like a dream away right now! We're managing a bit of nursing at bedtime, but even that's not regular, and it definitely isn't enough to get me re-lactating. The positive side is that we're still both keen, we both still feel the intimacy it provides and we can both have a laugh at our own expense when we reflect on how many times we've tried, started, stopped, restarted!

In my travels to find online soulmates who dream or practice adult nursing, I've found other blogs, sites and small hints to this lifestyle, that until a short time ago, was an unknown to me. For all its evils, the internet makes you realize you're not alone in your desires and more importantly, that there's nothing wrong with them. Adult nursing, also referred to as adult breastfeeding, is such a hard desire to get your head around, and almost impossible to bring up during a coffee get-together! I suppose just the name, nursing or breastfeeding, makes people feel that its an activity limited to babies and anything else is nothing short of blasphemous! And so, it makes it all the more important to find like-minded adults - many of whom we'll never meet in real life but we may chat with, or exchange thoughts with, or we may simply follow their progress which in turn gives us hope, comfort and a sense of belonging.

In saying this, I'm trying to commit myself to writing regularly, and sharing our progress (or the lack of it!), but also sharing what I've found, products that help, and little things that can make the nursing sessions that much more pleasurable (if that was possible!). I want to create a little community, a safe place, for all those who want to come and read, whether your're exploring the concept, or you've been practising for years, or like us, you're trying to get started but having difficulty. To anyone who reads my words, I welcome you to share thoughts and ideas and to join this little community where wives love to breastfeed their husbands/partners.

Welcome all.

Incredible Closeness

We are reaching the end of week one of our dedicated nursing routine. We haven't managed to get as much nursing time as we had hoped, but I regularly nurse him each morning and each evening before bedtime. We're managing about fifteen minutes on each breast in the morning, and a bit more at bedtime. Occasionally we've managed a 2am nursing, but haven't quite woken up each time! The feelings are so very difficult to explain in simple words. Its brought us so much closer emotionally and physically. For me, it is a complete feeling of submission and love and tenderness. When I hold my breast up so my nipples reaches his lips, I know I am surrendering myself to both tenderness and pain, but most of all, I know I am providing pleasure. At night, it has become the ritual that gives us time to unwind and relax and provides complete "us" time. By the time bedtime nears, I feel my breasts becoming sore with their need to be suckled and I find myself hurrying to get into bed. Our nursing relationship has uncovered so many unknown benefits. Its made me feel sexier and more proud to have nice heavy big breasts that seem perfect to carry milk. Its also made me feel more secure in my role as wife, and given me new ways to bring pleasure to my husband. But apart from the sexual benefits, having my breasts suckled relaxes me, and gives me the best nights sleep I've had in ages. Often I find myself dozing off while he still suckles, drifting in and out of sleep while he alternates from one breast to the other. My breasts feel full and soft but we don't have any milk coming yet, but I suspect we need to increase the frequency of nursing as its supposed to mirror the frequency of nursing a child, which would be 4-5 times a day. With work and other commitments, this will be difficult, so for now, we are content with dry nursing. The milk will come, and the pleasure will likely double at that time, but we're in no rush.

It's been awhile..

Life took over, as it always does, when you're trying to start something new, and derails the best of intentions! After going up, down and all over the place, we have returned to our dream of an adult nursing relationship and are now on day three of nursing regularly. For those who have contemplated or who are contemplating, don't think too long, just give it a go!


After hours of reading, researching, lurking on forums and watching a few too many naughty videos, we've figured out that this is a life-long commitment if its going to be done right, and so go slow and enjoy. Its been recommended that frequent, 10-20 minute nursing is needed, to have a realistic shot at lactation (or re-lactation). There's a lot of terminology floating around so if you're wondering what the difference is, I think I've summarized it down to whether or not you've ever produced breast milk. One of these days, I'll get a glossary going! So for the past two days, we've managed a long 20 minute nursing session (10 mins on each breast) before bedtime, another session in the middle of the night, and one in the morning. That's only three sessions, and 4-5 are recommended, so we're going to need to find some more suckle-time!


The bedtime nursing time is wonderful. The house is quiet, the roads are calm, and I lose myself in the peacefulness that surrounds lying naked in bed, and hearing only the sounds of a soft sucking on your breast and the occasional moan of ecstasy coming from your partner.  I admit I've fallen asleep being suckled only to be woken to switch to the other breast! The middle-of-the night nursing is a completely different feeling. Here my feelings of submissiveness and surrender come to play. Part of me wants to sleep, parts of me wants to be suckled and so you lie there, in mid-sleep, holding your breast out and feel the tugging waking up parts of your body. And after he's finished, you roll over and sleep, feeling used and content that you have given pleasure. And the biggest surprise is that I wake up with an urge to be suckled, my nipples aching to be sucked, and it is usually me that initiates it, getting into position so my breasts are easily reached.


I find myself wondering about the experiences to come. What will happen to my breasts? They are hardening already. Will they get bigger? Will they hurt all the time? Will I ever produce milk? All this yet to discover. Already I am loving our new passion. I'm exploring nursing bras, lactation teas, lotions for sore nipples.. I'm also exploring how much joy its brought to other couples through shared experiences on the Experience Project and finding that there are people around the world searching for the joys of ANR. I hope they find it. It's worth the search.